Something broke. Start here.
Problem Intelligence is SideGuy's routing hub. You don't need to know whether it's a website problem, a payments problem, or a phone problem — most operators can't tell from the outside, and that's normal. Tell us the symptom you can actually see, and this page points you at the most likely root cause, the right fix page, and an honest estimate of what it costs to make it stop.
How the routing works
Every emergency feels like a single big problem. It's almost never one thing. A "broken funnel" is usually a form that stopped submitting, a payment step rejecting cards, or leads landing in spam — three different fixes at three different prices. Naming the symptom first is what keeps you from paying a web developer to fix a payments issue, or paying for a new website when a DNS record just needs flipping back.
- Step 1 — Name the symptom. What did you see? "Site won't load." "Cards getting declined." "Phone doesn't ring." Plain words.
- Step 2 — Find the row. Match your symptom in the table below to the likely root cause and the page that walks the fix.
- Step 3 — Get the read. If two rows could fit, or none do, text PJ. A human reads it and tells you which one — and whether it's a $0 self-fix, a warranty claim, or a real job.
Symptom → root cause → who to call → cost
| Symptom you see | Most likely root cause | Who to call / fix page | Typical cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| Whole site won't load | DNS, expired domain/SSL, or hosting outage — rarely the code itself | Business Website Down (San Diego) | $0–$300 |
| Site loads but pages are broken or unstyled | CSS/asset path broke, a plugin update, or a bad deploy | Color / Layout Not Working | $0–$250 |
| Checkout fails / cards declined | 3-D Secure challenge failing or gateway misconfig — not "bad customers" | 3DS Authentication Failing | $0–$200 |
| Payment took but money never arrived | ACH/payout delay or held funds at the processor | ACH Payment Not Showing Up | $0 (usually wait) |
| Fees feel too high / wrong processor | Tiered pricing markup or mismatched plan for your volume | Best Payment Processing (San Diego) | Save 0.5–1.5% |
| Business phone won't ring | VoIP routing, number porting, or carrier config — not the handset | Phone System Down (San Diego) | $0–$400 |
| Leads stopped coming in | Form submit broke, lead routing dropped, or replies going to spam | Lead Generation Help (San Diego) | $150–$2,000 |
| Leads arrive but nothing's organized | No CRM, or a CRM nobody set up to actually capture/follow up | CRM Setup for Small Business | $250–$1,500 |
| Bought an AI tool, can't tell if it works | Tool sold a use case it can't deliver for your actual workflow | Who Do I Call About AI Tools? | $0 (read first) |
| Need a new site or a real build | Patching a dead site costs more than a clean rebuild | Web Development (San Diego) | $500–$5,000 |
| Can't tell which of these it is | You're seeing one symptom, the cause is upstream | Human-First Tech Help | Free read |
You probably need a human read if…
- Two rows above both sound like your situation and you can't tell which.
- The thing breaks, comes back, then breaks again — intermittent problems hide upstream causes.
- A vendor already quoted you for one thing but you suspect the real problem is somewhere else.
- It's costing you money right now (checkout down, phone dead) and you need a triage call, not a research project.
You probably don't need us if…
- The fix page above already names the exact setting and you're comfortable flipping it.
- Your current vendor is under contract and this is clearly their warranty obligation — make them fix it free.
- It's a one-time blip that already resolved and isn't recurring.
The honest verdict
Problem Intelligence exists so you spend money on the right problem — or no money at all. The most valuable read SideGuy gives is often "this is a 10-minute fix" or "that's your processor's job, not a paid project." We make money when we solve the real thing, not when we mislabel a free fix as a paid one. Describe the symptom, get the read, then decide.
Text PJ the symptom — 858-461-8054Common questions
What is Problem Intelligence?
It's the routing layer over everything else SideGuy does. Instead of forcing you to know whether you have a website, payments, phone, or AI problem, you describe what you can see and we route you to the right fix page plus an operator-honest read on who to call and what it costs.
How do I know which problem I actually have?
Start with the symptom, not the system. The table maps the thing you can see to the most likely root cause. A broken checkout is usually a 3-D Secure or gateway issue, not "bad customers" — and the fix is different from rebuilding the site.
Does it cost anything to use?
No. Reading the map and texting PJ for a read is free. You only pay if you decide to have real work done — and sometimes the honest answer is a free self-fix or a warranty claim against your current vendor.
What if my symptom isn't in the table?
Text PJ at 858-461-8054 with one or two sentences: what broke, when it started, what you've tried. The table covers the common operator emergencies; the whole point is that a human reads the edge cases too.
